Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
