dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
