brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
