do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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