maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
