I hate all girls vehemently.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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