my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
