sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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