Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
