i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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