We named our party play list daddy issues
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
