moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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