Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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