dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
All the doctor said was why
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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