Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
pop tarts are not kleenex
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
