he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
