I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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