Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
