i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
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