I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
