I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
