Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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