The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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