I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Come share oat with me in your robe
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
