And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
