Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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