dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
