There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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