none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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