How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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