hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
