Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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