Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
