I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
