i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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