you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
