I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
