I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
