Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
We left the knife in your bed.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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