The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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