do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
