i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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