Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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