batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
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