I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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