the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
