we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
