ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
