oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
