the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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